Teenagers and Parents
“Enjoy them now, they will soon be teenagers!” Parents often can hear warnings like this from friends and relatives. Media images of teenagers as secretive and moody troublemakers can lead parents to expect trouble as their children develop. But are these really fair descriptions of the typical teenager? Not necessarily.
Who are modern teenagers? The research shows that family life doesn`t have to be a battleground during the teenage years. Many parents never face serious conflicts with their adolescent children and live peacefully and harmoniously with their teens by keeping communication open and making some adjustments in the way they think and act to compromise. Teens have a natural need to establish their own identity. They progress from childhood dependency to adult independence, from control of parents to self control. For parents this usually means dealing with some tension in the home as teens ask themselves “Who am I?”, “How will I get along with others?” Teens often look for the answers to these questions by challenging authority and testing rules.
What should and what shouldn`t parents do? Parents who lose their tempers, withdraw in despair can make things worse. Constant negative messages from parents can lead to hostility, indifference and withdrawal in teenagers. Whatever their doubts may be, good parents always express confidence that things will get better, support their teens` efforts, cheer them up and show their love to children. Teens need to hear from their parents that they are loved unconditionally for themselves and that their parents will stand by them no matter what. Parents should encourage their teens to assume increasing responsibility for their choices and actions, while continuing to provide appropriate supervision and guidance. It`s important for parents to remember that teenagers begin to look like adults but often act like 2-year-olds in their determination to establish their own identity.